My song

Two faced

2012-01-03T10:01:00.003+08:00

I try to be optimistic while being sad inside.
I'm forcing myself to think happy, positive thoughts
Is it the lack of sleep talking or my subconcious mind?

Music is making my emotions sway.
It's not supposed to have that big of an impact on me.
It's not supposed to fill my mind every single time I'm not thinking of anything in particular.

I'm still searching for my dream.
I wanted to be a singer since I was a kid.
I love to sing
But am I good enough?
I want to try for the korean auditions will I make it through?

For once it is the one thing that fills my mind like an obsession.
My dreams of being a teacher or a radio Dj is being overshadowed.

I should be daring for once and chase something seriously.

I might have just found a motivation for me to lose weight.
I'm looking forward to being about 40 kilos lighter.

Long time no see, old friend...

2011-01-04T23:23:00.003+08:00

I don't think I've been here to post for quite awhile, I guess I have not felt the urge or the need to until tonight.

I just feel like God, can you bring me away?
To the harsh lands of Africa, to see the wild beauty of it.
The tundras of Russia and Canada.
The painful gap of poor and rich in India even, though I don't like the country that much.
The historical buildings and places where I can still see the old architecture in Korea and Japan.

I want to see the heaven on earth you have created and love it for what it is.
I really want to travel.
It's like my soul is restless.

Another another.

2010-10-14T22:37:00.003+08:00

Another Semester has begun for me
it is another beginning for me.
Getting to know people is never my forte but I'll see how it goes.
I just pray that there won't be any class politicks
I don't know if my heart is strong enough to handle it.

My birthday is coming up really soon
and I don't know how I should celebrate it.
I mean I want to do something and have fun...
But I just don't know what...

I wish I had money to buy all my favorite mangas, watch movie and come to own a violin and have the money to pay for lessons as well.

So many things.
It's all so costly...
Sometimes I guess we wish we could all be billionaires

it's the movie I want to watch at the moment, though it's a japanese film...

Am i choosing to be sad?

2010-09-10T23:25:00.001+08:00

I really don't understand why am I feeling this sad oe depressed.
And what pulls me away or makes me forget is music and anime.
Of course God also helps me out in this but its odd right?
Well to me it is...
Outside, i smile and laugh as if there's nothing
But i guess there's an underlying current within me that makes me feel this way.
What can i do?
I really don't know if I'm choosing to be sad or not...

is it that fun?

2010-09-07T22:10:00.003+08:00

Like the title,
is it that fun to agitate me?
is it that fun to see me get irritated?

One of these days i'm sure that your liking for agitating people will get you punched.
oh how i wish that person will hit you hard.
but i won't go about thinking it in my head.
i'd rather spend that space thinking of something more beneficial.

one of these days, no one will be able to stand you or be near to you.
you would have repelled everyone away.
including me,

six years of hearing you.
i want to curse,swear and scream profanities
i want to go somewhere far far away
work overseas
immigrate
study overseas even.

i will definitely accomplish my dream of travelling overseas and while i'm at it, not see you the entire time and be away from the nightmare which is you

Rainy days

2010-08-23T19:46:00.003+08:00

So many things have happened,
I want to change the things I do and I want things to remain the same...
Don't really know what to do anymore.
Well, I never did in the first place.

People have dreams and things that they want to do.
But what do I have?
A wandering spirit.
I want to go both ways, try both out
I want to go to places, and take it all in.
The people, culture, life.
I want to go and wander, go and travel.
All round the world.

National day business~

2010-08-09T01:03:00.002+08:00

Gonna do something special for my facilitators!
Thank goodness that it's public holiday on monday!
I have time to prepare my gift!

Gonna sleep soon and try to wake up early tomorrow :)

Also i'm loving iphone apps! I super love the games!!!
If only they were all free >.<...

It's raining now :)

2010-07-25T22:07:00.002+08:00

There's a few more weeks to the end of my first semester at Republic Poly,
time flies ever so quickly here.
I'm happy to be back at Retail section at Attributes,
I'm loving it there :)

There's this nagging sad feeling I can't shake off,
it comes round whenever I'm on my own,
after the crowd dies off.

I don't know if I want to feel this way...

Quick drop

2010-07-07T23:29:00.002+08:00

been super tired the past few weeks, not to mention busy >.< UTs this week can't believe that i can't finish the enterprise paper! Especially when i like enterprise and I don't mind the subject! Gosh! I'm so going to sleep !

Monday blues ?

2010-06-28T20:52:00.002+08:00

I'm starting to blog regularly on Mondays, I don't know why it seems that I like Monday module put me in a better mood. I think I'm liking enterprise module even though its about business ethics compounding interest, financial planning stuff, even though it's the easy part. I wonder if business drama is the same as media drama...I guess I'm glad that school is giving us the exposure of other modules.

I feel tired as usual, I don't know why. I've been feeling tired ever since school started...is it stress? I remembered stress feeling different...Oh wells...Signing off for now :)

Long winding road...

2010-06-27T16:23:00.002+08:00

One day when I'm old enough, I'm financially stable enough.
I want to travel, to the cities, to the countrysides.
Look up into the sky enjoy all of it, God's creations.

I wish I could say...

2010-06-23T22:32:00.003+08:00

Sometimes I wish I could just say "I hate you" ...However I can't bring myself to say it...I can't speakk normally with this person. It's as if he has the automatic switch to turn off my patience! I can't stand being around him!

Aside from that, I really feel that my motivtion is starting to slip away again...God guide me in my ways >.< I tired but I'm looking to moving on. Coming back to where I am now if I ever backtrack will surely tire me out... I feel like the Israelites that wandered for 40years, I wonder where I'm even at now...

Enterprise skills...

2010-06-21T23:42:00.002+08:00

logged on to put up a quick post :) Had Enterprise skills Module today :) I quite like the class even though there's so many theories that we need to know of :) Found out that business negotiations or property negotiations are tougher than I thought it was...I think I took a teeny little peep of what Pastor Kong and his team went through when we were looking for the location of our new building.

I'm going to keep on keeping on >.<
its hard when you feel so worn out ...Will still try :)

8 days later...

2010-06-20T17:59:00.003+08:00

8 days later from my previous post, well a lot has happened and I'm tired, worn out emotionally. I really need God, I can't imagine where I'd be if I never encountered Him and His grace. 2 weeks away from PBL makes me rusty >.< I feel that the me in class is cheery at the same time nervous and tries to work hard, I think the me that my close friends see is still cheery but they also see the sad side of me or rather they see the drained side of me. I thank God for them in my life because I can't keep up the cheery disposition forever, I doubt that I'd choose to be sad around my schoolmates. It's still early to see who stays and who doesn't. They say that when we grow more in God, we have thick skin with thin hearts...At times I wish that we can have both...

My head hurts...
Do I think too much? It won't do if I underthink it...
Sometimes I wish I could just cry and curse at the wind...
My heart aches...
But I need to go on...

Feast galore~

2010-06-12T03:15:00.002+08:00

Woke up at 4.30pm! Gosh it's hours away from the time I had intended to wake up at >.< Putting on the final touches to my mission, I showered, got dressed and left the house at 6.15pm and reached Esplanade MRT station at 7.05pm >.< five mins late >.< sorry guys, I didn't intend to oversleep T_T...

So we headed out for Esplanade and ate at Makansutra * hope I spelled that correctly :3 and
shared fried bee hoon, kang kong, onion omelet and fried chicken. I also ate a little from my friend's oyster omelet and carrot cake ;P was quite tasty, hee hees.

After that we took a couple of photos near Esplanade and went to Marina Square's Macdonald to chill out and we played a round of Monopoly Deal!! I managed to win after weeks of losing >.< so glad :) Lols, thank goodness no one tried to mess up my beginning! Cause if my beginning set up process was messed up, it's hard for me to win>.<

Afterwards some of us wanted to watch a late movie so we took the MRT to somerset. On our way there, I unexpectedly ran into my classmate on the train! I like kept staring at him when he boarded the train at douby ghaut, thinking that he looked very similar to my classmate and kept wondering if it was him >.< After a while, he looked over and saw me :) and I waved hi to him and went across to chat a little with him before I got off one stop later.

Going to cineleisure we saw that the timings for the late night movies was too late for us >.< Giving up the thought of watching movies, we went and had Ben & Jerry!! YUM! While my friend had bannana split, the other having a pint of chocolate fudge to eat and bring back, I had the simple two scoop cup of chocolate chip cookie dough and mango mango sorbet!:P As I enjoyed the ice-cream, I felt that the mango had a refreshing feel to it :3

Taking 6N back home and showering the first thing when I got back, this ends my friday :)

Thanks for reading :)

F.B.N !!!

2010-06-10T23:26:00.000+08:00

Funky Blue Nails!!!

Had some sister to sister bonding time last night as I volunteered to be my sis's test subject for her blue nail polish :) hee hees. I had fun talking to her last night and just being by each other :) *honestly I was fidgeting a lot, I had a problem staying still as she painted my nails :)

It looks a little funky at first glance but it gets nicer to look at when you get to look at it longer :) Also, my hand kinda looks lighter or rather I think the blue kinda brings out/reminded me that I have yellowish tinged skin.

Its not all bad :) I'm kinda tempted to paint my room this shade of blue...well maybe a lighter shade of blue :)

I think I spent too much today...

2010-06-08T19:22:00.000+08:00

Went for a school workshop today and was super sleepy on my way to and at school.
I can take teasing and jokes but if that's your way of conversing with me, I don't know how long my patience can last.
I almost wanted to cry on the spot after what was done...
I could only keep my mouth shut to prevent myself from doinging or saying anything unnecessary.
How much do you want to repeat what had happened?

Moving on before this becomes hatred and grudge.
I went and had lunch at the school canteen and bubble tea,
walking over to Woodlands interchange I took the sheltered path since it was drizzling.
Along that path I stopped at the bus stop to put on my headphones and listen to Planetshakers and Parachute band to clear my mind :)

As I did that, I had placed the bubble tea on the seat and thought to myself that the last time I bought bubble tea was also on dreary and gray day too.
I hope that it won't become a regular practice...

Took the train to douby ghaut standing most of the way since I gave my seat to an elderly lady.
upon arrival, I intended to go to Paper Market then to Made with Love, since one is at B1 and the other is somewhere along the 3rd or 4th floor.

I took my time looking through the shop thinking what could I do and how should I make the card...In the end I took more than I needed just because they look pretty and bought some markers too, since I don't have anymore that's useable. In the end I spent $54+!!! >.< * wallet crying in pain!

After that escapade, I dropped by to Manhatten Fish Market and talked with my colleagues and supervisors, I had lots of fun talking, saying hi to the other waiters,waitresses and the kitcehen crew :)

I missed working there, I mean how can you not? They're all really nice, fun and friendly people!! :) While I was there I found out that the set lunch menu had changed the items to really embarrassing to say names! OMG!!! Even the customers didn't dare to say it! LOLS!!

Leaving the restaurant at 4pm I went over to the bookshop near the washroom and felt that I should buy something to read. And bought some classics I did! :) Gosh, what am I saying!

Since I was on a spending spree, I went back down to the Basement floor shopped at the DVD store. I was feeling the need for DVDs >.< LOLS.

With this it concludes my day :) It felt kinda lonely though, going here and there alone >.< Oh wells, what to do?

Student Ambassador appointment.

2010-06-08T00:26:00.000+08:00

As the title explains, I'm offically in the SA interest group!
I don't have a working camera with me so I don't have any photos to show.
Dressed up as Miss Mad Hatter, as the theme for the meetings was Characters.
It can be anyone we wanted. I really like alice in wonderland so I chose this :)
I know that my outfit doesn't resemble the original at all but I wish that people would just show oh so tiny bit more of compassion with your words. It's not as if your costume was the best one there and you're in the least bit similar to your character.

I'm I being too sensitive?
Sometimes I feel that they're laughing at me...
I shouldn't try to blend in to them right?

What to do? I just joined and I'm already feeling left out...

Back to the start...

2010-06-07T01:37:00.000+08:00

I'm back :)
And I've changed the skin and changed the song list :)
Some of the popular hits, some older songs and songs I'm currently listening to :)

A lot of things happened between this post and the previous post.
It kinda feels like Genesis 1:1 and Genesis 1:2.
I'm feeling sick inside,
I don't know what I've come down with
but it feels like some intense longing.
I guess my spirit is telling me "go do the things you like! Before you explode!"
It's a fact, I have not drawn seriously and/or sit down for 3-5hours just solely drawing whatever I want.
I feel really rusty, my creative juices coming to a halt...
Missin Mrs Sim and Art lessons like crazy :)

I feel that I need to go back to the start.
The fundamentals of who I am, I know that when God increase, I'll decrease.
But I don't think in the essence that I lose who I am.
I feel that being nice too often makes me forget who I am.

There's a lot of "I"s today...Lols
Anyways, I just feel that I need to go back to the start of myself.
Residing somewhere in heart

another song I love :3

2010-01-16T03:43:00.000+08:00

I've been listening to this song
and I like it's sound and lyrics
here's the normal mv and the anime version of the mv
and the lyrics below them.
this song is the opening song of the anime "Letter Bee".
enjoy! :3

music video :3

anime version

Lyrics;

Anyway, I just wanna run away from this town,
While still dark, on the empty road, we set off

Where should I go to follow the future?
Dunno, it's just the two of us, we're just running
And throw away our cellphones and INSTALL freedom- or so I thought
"I'm nervous," you laughed, searching your pocket

Morning reflected in the windows when the first train passed us by
And it followed us like the light of a flashlight

"Hey, where are we going?""We're going wherever." Hand in hand grasped tightly
I'm going, you went, the day it began

I don't wanna hear them, some honor student's words
It's not REAL to me, so don't expect me to stop
Can you hear that? I still gave my best
Even if the voice always grows hoarse, I'm coming for you

Before the summer ghosts go wild, I take my only hope,
Which lit up the future like the light of a flashlight
"Hey, whatcha wanna do?""I wanna do anything." A morning glow dyed shirt,
My thoughts, your wishes, the day it began

[ending rap]
Runaway, runaway, runaway, yup!
Anywhere, go farway, yup!
I we get separated, if it's dark, if it gets like this, and I hate it, but can't help it
Even if the MORALISTS kick up a fuss
Even if the NIHILISTS laugh
And even if the REALISTS say it's useless
This show already started, it's the main point,
It's late already and we just started walking along the highway
The scenery moves in slow motion as we're heading towards some destination we've never seen
Forward, forward, forward, forward, with a new name and address
Let's get started, new drama, my new partner!

The ache of thinking about someone, in that AGONY
I wanna find a meaning, a meaning or maybe two

"Hey, where are we going?""We're going wherever." Hand in hand grasped tightly
I'm going, you went, the day it began

Let's Escape...Uh!　DREAM's captive
Let's Escape...Uh!　Fate's dancer
Let's Escape...Uh!　Let's elope towards a morning no one can stop anymore!

Let's Escape...Uh!　DREAM's captive
Let's Escape...Uh!　Fate's dancer
Let's Escape...Uh!　Let's elope towards a summer where nobody can bother us anymore!

Let's Escape
Let's Escape
Let's Escape

A discussion has not been started for these lyrics.

Change history for English lyrics:

Version #1 by ancalyme at 02:13:31 pm 12/06/09

Change history for Kanji lyrics:

Version #5 by ehmz at 08:02:43 am 11/22/09
Version #4 by nanaseren at 06:43:16 am 11/22/09
Version #3 by nanaseren at 08:46:59 am 11/21/09 (Reverted)
Version #2 by ehmz at 01:57:59 am 11/21/09
Version #1 by nanaseren at 01:53:16 am 11/21/09

Change history for Romaji lyrics:

Version #2 by chiisanashojo at 09:34:14 pm 11/21/09
Version #1 by nanaseren at 09:09:00 am 11/21/09